Always

I thought I could be whole without you
Apparently, I can't
Honestly, I wouldn't

I thought I could be sane without you
Obviously, I can't
I hallucinate
Of you
Of us
Of things which tore me apart

I thought laughter would finally be mine
For I've abandon you
Oh how seriously wrong I was
Without you
Gloom surrounds me
I smile mindlessly
I laugh pretentiously
I live mundanely
I love anonymously

You are eternally etched in me
Forever will I be in love with you
Always

My Heart Cracked A Little

I see you
Almost every day
Feels so close
Yet so far
My heart cracked a little

I remember you
Every single time i do things we dig
Typing you a message
Delete it afterwards
My heart cracked a little

Everyday
My heart cracked a little
Over you
Over us

The Heart Wants What It Wants

I have no control of this thing in my rib cage
It beats on its own
It speaks its own thoughts
It makes decision before my head can

Right now
This thing called heart wants you
Yeah, you!

From the moment you chose to say hi
It danced a little
And when you and i created some bubble speech
It went wild
To the point you made me laugh, shared my pain and sadness
It twirls non stop

And now
This sometimes-fragile-sometimes-not heart decides
All on its own
You are all it wants

Albeit the drama this wanting going to create
The pain of uncertainty
The stab of longing
The evil scrathes of missing
The heart still wants you

What could i say
The heart wants what it want

Mencari Rangga

Sudi kah kamu menjadi Rangga aku
Yang memimpin dengan pelukan dan ciuman
Yang membalas rajuk dan marahku dengan senyuman
Ketawa nya juga bisa membuat aku lebih bahagia

Aku mahu kamu menjadi Rangga aku
Kerna aku yakin dengan adanya kamu
Aku makin dewasa, matang dan aman
Kerna aku percaya pada kimia kita, aura kita dan toleransi kita

Sudikah kamu menjadi Rangga aku
Kerna aku ingin menjadi Cinta mu dan Hanum mu
Agar kamu ngerti kasih ku banyak amat untuk kamu

Kenapa

Kadang-kadang
Hidup ini berhadapan dengan persoalan KENAPA
Lalu
Gundah lah hati ini mencari jawapan kepada KENAPA
Sehingga terasa semua zarah dunia turut memekikkan KENAPA
Luluh juga hati pabila walau jenuh melilau
Jawapan tetap tidak diketemu
Hancur sungguh perasaan apabila terpaksa meneruskan hidup dengan kesedaran yang mungkin sampai mati persoalan itu tidak akan terjawab
Kadang-kadang
KENAPA itu ibarat racun jiwa!

An Amok In Silence

Amidst a morning calm
There's a calamity
A heart weeps
Screams too
For it has to be in mute
The words it pours has to be voiceless.

She claws the gag they put on her

Embroidered with delicate flowers

The cloth feels like a knife

Slowly carving her lips

Forcing it to form a smile

Desperate for release

She runs

To the beach, hoping the waves will soothe her

To the woods, hoping the rustles will lull her

To the river, hoping the burbles will comfort her

All to no avail

Seconds pass,

The screams in her heart grow louder

The weeps turn into wails

The crackle of sadness has now turned into an amok of flames

Engulfing her every being

Dews can no longer water such heat
From a silenced heart
It runs amok
Whilst trapped within a wall
Bursting at the veins with emotions

She needs more than dews

She needs a fountain of love

She needs a lake of care

She needs a waterfall of empathy

She needs those monsters to take off her gag

What a cruelty
Imposing a heart
Forcing it to run amok in silence

Beautiful Nightmare

I am afraid to fall asleep
Woken up by tears i might
By an illusion of you and me

I miss you
Happy that our souls met
Within the fantasy a sleep provides
Yet
Farewell is always there
Jerking a longing soul
To open her eyes

The pillows are wet
Of love that never dies
Flourished by
A beautiful nightmare